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You are here: Home / Advice / Turn and Face the Strange

Turn and Face the Strange

January 5, 2021 By Cutter Slagle Leave a Comment

Sorry to disappoint, kids, but this blog article, the very first of 2021, has nothing to do with hooking up with some rando (i.e. “strange”) from a local bar, bathhouse, or Craigslist. You know, COVID and all. But, also, I’m happily off the market. Besides, I was never really into that type of scene, anyway—regardless of who you may talk to later. I always preferred to get to know a guy before allowing things to turn intimate. Well, I’d at least learn his first name (in almost all cases) and tax bracket before taking that next step. What can I say? With me, there is usually slash rarely a touch of class.

Today, however, I want to talk about a different type of strange—strange in the form of change. Thank you, David Bowie.

Here’s the thing about change: Some people embrace change. Some people scurry away from change. Some people love finding change in their pockets. Okay, fine! Now that I’ve mastered my dad body, I can openly admit it’s time to work on my dad jokes. My apologies.

One more thing about change, though: It’s consistent. Perhaps the most consistent thing in our lives. So, if change is so consistent, so constant, why are we so afraid of it?

Because it’s hard! Hard as fuck sometimes, right? We can spend a substantial amount of time and effort working towards a goal, believing in something/someone, expecting or hoping for a certain outcome, only for a change of some sort to come flying out of nowhere like a bat out of hell, leading to disappointment . . . or heartache, defeat, confusion, uncertainty. You get the idea.

But, it is possible for change to be good. Dare I even say it? Change can often yield better results than we ever could have imagined.

You’re familiar with the popular saying: When the front door closes, the back door opens and . . . Okay, fine! I obviously need to work on my gay jokes, too. Yet, you know what I’m talking about, don’t you? The verbiage created to make us all see the positive side of change versus the negative side. Lines like one thing ends or falls apart so an even better thing can begin. I’ll admit that the actual phrase is a little more poetic than that. Regardless, you get my point.

And, you know what else? Sometimes these inspirational (though hokey pokey) quotes are true. When something ends or doesn’t work out exactly as we had planned or hoped it to (i.e. due to a change of some kind), it’s because a greater plan is in the works.

All right, enough uplifting shit for one post; I’m starting to annoy myself. However, when it comes to change, I do think it’s important, even beneficial, to focus on the good aspects of it—when possible (obviously, every situation is different). You know, the shiny and new components of change.

For example, a best friend moving thousands of miles away simply gives me a reason to travel and explore a new area. Changing publishers or literary agents presents an opportunity to work with new people and take my career in a new direction. (Yes, I’m well aware of the fact that in order to change agents, I first need an agent. Do you know any looking for new clients?) McDonald’s changing the size of the Big Mac (yes, it’s gotten smaller over the years) . . . Well, to be perfectly honest, no good came from that change.

Change, like so many other elements in life, is all about perspective. Seeing the good instead of the bad, the sun instead of the rain (except, I love a good rainstorm from time to time), and, fine, I’ll say it: seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty.

Again, I’m well aware that these mantras don’t work all of the time. Yet, a lot of times they do work. Believe it or not, it is so much easier to focus on the good and be happy versus the bad and be negative.

Do you remember what I told you previously, a few blog articles ago? Negativity causes wrinkles. Do you want wrinkles? No, ma’am!

Another famous line about change: People don’t change, or people never change, or people can’t change, et cetera. I’ve grown to hate this mentality; it’s bullshit. People change all of the time. Maybe not always for the better, and maybe not drastically or extremely noticeably, but people do change.

Of course, in order for someone to change, a person has to want to change, has to willingly put in the time, effort, and work to change. Yet, change is possible, even common. You’ve changed. I’ve changed. Sarah Jessica Parker has changed. She continuously gets more and more fabulous.

I mean, I used to be obsessed with social media, constantly scrolling, scrolling, scrolling and posting. Now, I absolutely hate it—all platforms. I used to be a major party boy, always searching for some sort of action on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night. I used to want to be famous. I craved it. Now, I just want to be left the hell alone, in my own little world, with my books and snacks.

Last week, I wrote about growth. It’s true: change and growth go hand-in-hand. And, in order to grow, change has to occur. Sure, some people don’t change, meaning they don’t grow. They stay the same. This is unfortunate because I’ve met a lot of people, and a change could do most of them some good.

I’m not saying change/growth is easy or that it doesn’t hurt (they don’t call it growing pains for nothing), but if we’re open to it and embrace it, who knows what possibilities await us?

Again, when people change, it’s not always for the better. Specifically, some people change for the worst. This can be upsetting, disappointing, heartbreaking, but it’s also a type of change we have to be ready for. A type of change that we have to accept, no matter how difficult.

After all, the thing about change—good, bad, ugly—is that it’s consistent and constant. Fighting change will only lead to more disappointment and more heartbreak.

If you can, when it’s possible, try to see the positive aspects of change. Something in your life may change, someone in your life may change, but those changes can lead to greatness . . . if you allow them to.

If you keep an open mind and an open heart.

Filed Under: Advice Tagged With: change, David Bowie, LGBTQ blog, LGBTQ writer, LGBTQ writing, Life lessons, positive thoughts, Sarah Jessica Parker, The Law of Attraction, The Male Carrie Bradshaw, Writer, Writing, Writing Community

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Don't miss my February column in @ragemonthly — Out now! 
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"Hope is essential, but it’s not enough. To just simply hope will almost always end in disappointment, and probably pretty quickly. In order for hope to work—truly work—we’ve got to work, and the work isn’t always easy. On the contrary, it can be fucking hard. Hope can only take us so far, then it’s up to us and the work we’ve done to finish the job."

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#NewBlogAlert🔥 — #LinkInBio or cutterslagle.com #TheMaleCarrieBradshaw 
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For the past year and a half, I’ve told myself and others that I’m on a journey of self-reflection, with the sole goal of becoming the absolute best version of myself. Yet, when I look back at my previous blog articles and Rage (how fitting is that name?) columns, I’m not so sure this is the case. Instead, I fear that I may be trying to project my feelings, beliefs, and hell, possibly even my insecurities onto anyone who bothers to read the sentences I string together.

The result? A sad, jaded, angry, and yes, bitter perspective of life.

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My #October column in @ragemonthly is out now! 👨🏼‍💻 https://bit.ly/3dV59tn 
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“After all, times are tough! Charles Dickens had it right when he wrote, ‘It was the worst of times.’ He, too, must have been searching for gay love. (As for the other half of that quote, the one that addresses the ‘best of times,’ well, I don’t know her.)”
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harlancoben Harlan Coben @harlancoben ·
February 1, 2023

Milestone: Don’t want to brag but today while writing I spelled the word “occasion” correctly for the first time.

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January 15, 2023

... I can take myself dancing, and I can hold my own hand.

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sincerelycutter Cutter Slagle @sincerelycutter ·
January 5, 2023

… it was maroon. ♥️

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October 26, 2022

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sincerelycutter Cutter Slagle @sincerelycutter ·
October 24, 2022

Take the moment and taste it
You've got no reason to be afraid
You're on your own, kid
Yeah, you can face this

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Writer: Cutter Slagle

3 days ago

Writer: Cutter Slagle
Don't miss my February column in The Rage Monthly Magazine — Out now! #TheMaleCarrieBradshaw "Hope is essential, but it’s not enough. To just simply hope will almost always end in disappointment, and probably pretty quickly. In order for hope to work—truly work—we’ve got to work, and the work isn’t always easy. On the contrary, it can be fucking hard. Hope can only take us so far, then it’s up to us and the work we’ve done to finish the job." ... See MoreSee Less

RAGE MONTHLY MAGAZINE

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But I was realizing that everyone does go on. You get up. You have breakfast. You go to work. You do your job. You come home, have some dinner, go to bed. Just like everybody else. But it's always there. You go on, but you don't go on. Because there's this weight, and you can feel it all the time, like you've got a cinder block sitting on each shoulder, pushing you down, wearing you out, making you wonder whether you'll be able to get up the next day. And son of a bitch, you do get up. That day, and the day after, and the day after that. With those blocks on your shoulders. Always there. ... See MoreSee Less

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Bye, Bitter Bitch

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Oftentimes, it can be difficult to shake feelings of bitterness and anger. During these times, it's important to focus on what we can control and change.
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Take the moment and taste itYou've got no reason to be afraid You're on your own, kid Yeah, you can face this🎶🎶🎶 ... See MoreSee Less
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