New year. New month. New goals. Perhaps new relationships, too. This blog article would have been more fitting last month, but a bitch has been busy-ish. And, let’s not mince words: nothing fits great these days—not even sweatpants. Is it still appropriate to blame the holidays for all the extra weight? Regardless, most of the above sounds nice, doesn’t it? However, we can’t forget that with new, well, with new anything, comes new questions. Lots of new questions. Questions like, how do you set—and keep—healthy boundaries? Come to think of it, boundary just may be the word of 2023. Or maybe . . .
Love Handles—But No Love
A couple of months ago, I had a thought. Looking back now, I think it was more of a moment of weakness, but the idea formed in my brain, and I took action. I decided to download Tinder, the dating app. Actually, in my opinion, Tinder is more of a dressed-up hook-up app (i.e. a fancy Grindr). That old expression, “putting lipstick on a pig,” feels like an accurate way to not only describe Tinder but the bulk of dating apps today. Maybe even dating in general, whether you use an app or not. (And if you don't use an app to date, what's your secret?) Still, I gave in and started swiping . . . . . .
Drive Me Krazy
I didn't come out until I was twenty-seven years old. Sure, everyone knew I was gay, including people on Mars. Yet, I didn’t actually say the words out loud to my family until later in life. To add insult to the story—or perhaps comic relief—I came out to my family drunker than shit at a female strip club. What can I say? I’ve always had a flair for the dramatics. I don’t know what had come over me. Actually, I do. I was miserable at the time. Miserable with the guy I was dating (though, he likely would have called it stalking), miserable with my job, miserable with not being able to talk . . .
The Gay Community Is Fucked
Yes, the gay community is fucked, and not in a good way. More like in a sad, pathetic, die old and alone kind of way. Well, depending on what your goals are, what you want to accomplish in this life. If you want to booze and cruise and, you know, continue to keep a running list of all the dick you can collect like some twisted, fucked up version of Pokémon Go, you might be all right. However, if you’re searching for the fairy tale like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, then you better put on your boots—the thigh-high ones—because there is a lot of shit to sift through before "happily ever . . .
Is Porn a Problem?
I recently decided to conduct a survey. Nothing official, of course. I wouldn’t even begin to know how to do something like that. Also, too much work. Unpaid work. Like Todrick Hall says, “I don’t work for free; that’s not the tea, hunty. No, ma’am!” No, ma’am, indeed. Therefore, when I say I “conducted a survey,” I really texted a handful of random friends and asked for their opinion on a certain subject matter. Don’t worry random friends who may be reading this: I’ve kept you all anonymous. Anonymous, like that one time . . . You know what? A story not appropriate for sharing. So, . . .