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You are here: Home / Advice / Let It Go—For Real, Though!

Let It Go—For Real, Though!

January 5, 2022 By Cutter Slagle Leave a Comment

If there’s one thing everyone can agree on, it’s that Idris Elba should consider doing a full-frontal nude scene. If there are two things we can agree on, it’s that life is hard. Finally, three things the majority of people reading this can agree on: It’s time to light a match and burn this motherfucker down to the ground.

Or, to be a little more PC . . . It’s time to let shit go. Really let it go.

The “it” stated above can refer to anything in your life that is not currently fulfilling you. A job, a residence, a partner, an in-law, pizza. Again, life is hard and way too short to settle for crappy pizza.

To be honest, I’d settle for crappy pizza right now. I’d revel in crappy pizza. You see, I’m one of those people who is jumpstarting the new year by eating clean and exercising, as opposed to the much easier method of maintaining a balanced routine all year long. What can I say? I fell off the wagon and landed in McDonald’s drive-thru. Then, to add insult to injury, I cruised by Burger King, Papa John’s, and Taco Bell.

Yep, I spent the entire holiday season spreading the love to every fast-food joint in a twenty-mile radius. As a result, my thighs have spread so much that my already-pasted-on skinny jeans look, well, not pretty. Working in sweatpants from home is all fun and games until you have to put on real clothes and go out into public.

Moving on, I’ve never been one of those individuals who require a new year, a new month, or even a new week to make a change (except now, apparently). Why wait, right? If you want to change something about your life and you feel ready to actually follow through with that change, then what are you waiting for? Why wait to better your life, to better yourself? Why waste time?

However, here we are. It’s a new year, 2022. Hopefully, not a sequel to 2020, as it sounds, but a blank slate that some need in order to make that effective change. And, as a guy who could definitely stand to make a change or two in his life as we enter a new year, new month, new week, let me remind those who may have forgotten: You can’t move forward if you’re still stuck on or in the past.

Alas. . . Let. It. Go. Whatever “it” may be for you.

Of course, this is easier said than done. I think that’s important to note—not to mention, fair. It’s pretty manageable to have the mindset that if a person, place, or thing doesn’t suit us, then we should abandon it. Additionally, if we’re not good at something, even after having tried and tried again, then there’s no reason to keep trying, to keep setting ourselves up for heartbreak, failure, and disappointment. There has to be a time when simply, enough is enough.

We know this. The concepts make sense. Yet, putting them into action and following through with them is a little more difficult. Though this is true, for me, anyway, I can’t help but wonder why. Specifically, if we know that cigarettes are bad for us, or there isn’t a chance in hell that boy is ever going to become the man we need, or we just don’t vibe well with certain people, why do we keep trying for another outcome? Why do we keep misusing our time and energy? Why do we keep risking our mental, emotional, and physical health?

Are we optimists for holding on? For believing in or hoping for a different result? For hoping for the best? Hoping for change? Or are we masochists? Are we only torturing ourselves, delaying the inevitable? Is it unrealistic to think things will be different this time? After one hundred times?

Maybe it’s time—past time—to let it go.

And, just a friendly reminder from someone who apparently completely misunderstood the notion, that’s let it go . . . not let yourself go. Damn McDonald’s, Burger King, Papa John’s, Taco Bell . . . You get the idea.

Recently, a person close to me, one of my most favorite people in the entire world, shared her life mantra: When a decision needs to be made, the answer is either “hell yes” or “hell no.”

Obviously, not everything fits into that box. Yet, when the decision is without a doubt, “hell no,” clearly, we need to let it go. Forget about it. Move on. We can’t wait forever. We can’t hope and expect and pretend and hold our breath forever. We just have to let it go. That plain, that complex.

Letting go doesn’t mean that we’re a failure or that we’ve given up. Letting go only means that we’re ready to try something new. That we’re taking full control of our lives so that we can shape them how we want them to look.

Further, when we let go—fully let go—it proves that we know ourselves and feel comfortable being ourselves. After all, it is when we truly know ourselves, perhaps even love ourselves, that we’re able to peacefully let go of what’s no longer working for us.

So, I’m challenging you, and I’m challenging myself. Let’s make this our year, our month, our week. Now is a perfect time to let go and officially rid ourselves of excessive weight—be it emotional, physical, or mental.

As we charge forward into January, I’d like everyone to agree on one last thing: It’s perfectly okay to have needs, goals, desires, values, boundaries. And if a person, place, or thing doesn’t fall in line with those needs, goals, desires, values, or boundaries, then it’s acceptable to let it (or them) go. Not just let it go, either, but let it go without guilt or regret or explanation.

In fact, we owe it to ourselves to let go.

More importantly, we’re worth it. You’re worth it.

The sooner you believe that mentality, trust it, even practice it, the faster you’ll be able to let it all go—for real, though.

Filed Under: Advice Tagged With: LGBTQ blog, LGBTQ writer, Life lessons, resolutions, Self-respect, The Male Carrie Bradshaw, Writing Community

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sincerelycutter

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Mar 19

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“Never let anyone make you feel ordinary.”

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Feb 9

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“When I decided to leave was when I learned and accepted that I can’t change people, I can’t save people, only love them. I can only change myself and my circumstances.” — @pamelaanderson

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Feb 6

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#NewBlogAlert 🚨#LinkInBio or cutterslagle.com 🧑🏼‍💻 #TheMaleCarrieBradshaw 
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Boundaries are important, and for all types of relationships, including the relationship you have with your mom, your partner, your best friend, and your favorite pizza delivery guy.
▪️
While exploring the idea of boundaries, I couldn’t help but think about a past fling of mine, Peter Rabbit. Peter Rabbit and I only saw each other for a couple of months. Our first date was classic: dinner, drinks, dancing, dick down. In that order. Oh, to be back in my twenties. Kidding! I’m extremely happy to have outgrown some behaviors of my youth.

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Feb 1

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Don't miss my February column in @ragemonthly — Out now! 
https://bit.ly/3l3MLBt

#TheMaleCarrieBradshaw 👨🏼‍💻

"Hope is essential, but it’s not enough. To just simply hope will almost always end in disappointment, and probably pretty quickly. In order for hope to work—truly work—we’ve got to work, and the work isn’t always easy. On the contrary, it can be fucking hard. Hope can only take us so far, then it’s up to us and the work we’ve done to finish the job."
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sincerelycutter Cutter Slagle @sincerelycutter ·
February 6, 2023

#NewBlogAlert Teach Me How to Boundary
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February 1, 2023

Milestone: Don’t want to brag but today while writing I spelled the word “occasion” correctly for the first time.

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sincerelycutter Cutter Slagle @sincerelycutter ·
January 15, 2023

... I can take myself dancing, and I can hold my own hand.

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sincerelycutter Cutter Slagle @sincerelycutter ·
January 5, 2023

… it was maroon. ♥️

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Writer: Cutter Slagle

4 weeks ago

Writer: Cutter Slagle
“ ‘I do enjoy my life,’ Steve said. ‘And my work. Maybe problems arise when you’re just too focused on the results. The joy is in the process, the trying. The pursuit.’ “ —Catherine Ryan Howard, Run Time#MondayMotivate ... See MoreSee Less

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“There are so many questions that have no answers. Acceptance of these mysteries is the only way to peace.” —Lisa Unger, The Stranger Inside ... See MoreSee Less

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2 months ago

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There was a turning pointwhen I felt freeto be myselfand not just exist in survival mode—Liberation—when I realized I was my own worst critic,I decided to shed the paralyzing shyness that I was imprisoned by—Realizing that life is happening withor without me. A mindset: If others can be it,So can I. To the young girls and boys out there who are painting their own lives, “Winging it,”You’re not crazy. You’re brave like me. Independent thinking and Disobedienceare important—And,you are going to be okay. I wish someone told me that. And if they did, I wish I believed them. I became a warrior, A destroyerof old beliefs, Slaying dragons. I embraced the illuminating thought: I am “good enough.”I am powerful—Oh am I . . . —Love, PamelaPamela Anderson ... See MoreSee Less

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I wondered then and wonder now: When you’re dating someone, how much influence should that person’s friends and family have on the relationship? Are you actually dating that person’s friends and family, too? Or is the relationship only between the two people in the relationship, and should everyone else simply fuck off?Let’s say it together: boundaries.#TheMaleCarrieBradshaw #NewBlogAlert #Blogging ... See MoreSee Less

Teach Me How to Boundary

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Do you have trouble setting boundaries with people? You're not alone. However, in order to have healthy, fulfilling relationships, boundaries are essential.
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2 months ago

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Don't miss my February column in The Rage Monthly Magazine — Out now! #TheMaleCarrieBradshaw "Hope is essential, but it’s not enough. To just simply hope will almost always end in disappointment, and probably pretty quickly. In order for hope to work—truly work—we’ve got to work, and the work isn’t always easy. On the contrary, it can be fucking hard. Hope can only take us so far, then it’s up to us and the work we’ve done to finish the job." ... See MoreSee Less

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