Cutter Slagle

  • About
  • Books
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
You are here: Home / Advice / I Hate Box

I Hate Box

May 14, 2020 By Cutter Slagle Leave a Comment

Now that I have your attention . . . I don’t think I’ve ever publicly admitted that I hate box. More appropriately, I hate boxes. You may have already assumed this because, quite honestly, who in their right mind likes boxes? Not that I’m in my right mind, but you get the idea.

Boxes are stifling. Boxes take up space. Boxes often times indicate a move of some sort is taking place, and there ain’t nothing fun or exciting about moving! Boxes also tend to trap things: clothes, documents, people. And who—in any mindset—wants to feel trapped?

Besides, trying to put me into a box is moot. Thanks to the COVID-19 (i.e. the 19+ pounds I’ve gained since this whole stay-at-home mess started), there isn’t a box big enough for me to fit in!

If you’re unfamiliar with my writing, you’re not alone. To get you up to speed, I generally use my blog to express my feelings. Whether I’m happy, sad, mad, or hurt, I write about it. Instead of using my fists as some macho man would, I use my words. Mostly because I don’t want to break a nail. Actually, that’s a lie: My nails look awful. Unfortunately, I can’t even blame Ms. Rona for this; my nails looked awful way before the quarantine was issued.

Damn! I can’t do straight or gay right!

Then again, who gets to tell me if the way I act is right or wrong? Who holds that kind of power? Just like we’re responsible for our own actions, we’re also responsible for our own feelings. This means that if I’m feeling happy, sad, mad, or hurt, I have the power to change it. Of course, no one wants to not be happy, unless they enjoy wallowing in their own misery, but that’s a whole other topic.

Even though must of us know this, it doesn’t always make the rule easy to follow or incorporate into our daily lives. It should, but realistically it’s an action easier said than done. Why? Because as humans it’s only natural to be affected by other people—what they say and do. Despite that RuPaul sings, “Unless they’re paying your bills, pay them bitches no mind” and the common saying we learn early on in life: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Except, I’m a writer. Therefore, I know the power of words. They can hurt. Do hurt. As do the actions of others. And sorry, Ru, but sometimes “paying them bitches no mind” isn’t always an option.

So you see, not every situation is the same. It’s even safe to say that not every situation fits into the same size of box. Despite that we should never give someone enough power to dictate how we feel, it does happen. My best friend would be disappointed in me for saying that, probably call me the “C” word and hit me. It’s all right; she hits like a girl. She is a firm believer in both not giving other people power and creating/being responsible for your own feelings.

Recently, someone tried to put me in a box, the box being what they expected from me and what they wanted out of me. When I didn’t comply with the strict constraints, the relationship faltered. Needless to say, as a result of this fallout, I’m feeling some sort of way. Many sorts of ways, to be exact. Sad, angry, annoyed, confused. I don’t want to feel the weight of these feelings. According to logic, as well as Mama Ru and my best friend, I should be able to get rid of the weight or burden quite quickly.

Except, have you seen me? The way I eat? When you’re me, it’s not easy to get rid of any weight. Whether it’s physical or emotional.

One of the hardest lessons we have to learn as an adult (other than too much cake will make you fat) is that everyone isn’t going to be our friend or even like us. We’re no longer in kindergarten. Bringing juice boxes for all or inviting the entire class over for a birthday party doesn’t happen anymore.

Instead, people come into our lives; people leave our lives. Sometimes we don’t want them to go; sometimes they have to go. Change, growth, moving on . . . It’s all inevitable. While there are factors we can control, there are also many factors we can’t control. We have no hold over them.

Just like no one—but me—is responsible for my feelings, I’m not responsible for anyone else’s. Sure, if I hit them with a car, then I’d be responsible for their broken leg or injury, the pain they were feeling. But if I’m not driving, or if I’m following the laws and doing what I’m supposed to be doing (i.e. being a good friend, the best possible friend I can be), then how is it fair to be blamed for something that I didn’t do?

Yes, wiseass, I’m well aware: Life isn’t fair.

I’ve written about this before, and I wholeheartedly believe it to be true: the act of apologizing. Further, when we’re wrong, we should apologize. I’ve done it many times. It’s not fun—at all—but completely necessary. Though, I will never apologize for bashing Trump, because I don’t think that’s wrong. It’s . . . necessary.

However, I also think it’s equally important to not apologize when you’re not wrong. By all means, own your mistakes, but don’t own the ones you didn’t make. And if you made them unintentionally, well, then there’s something to be said about intent.

For example, it’s never been my intent to hurt someone’s feelings or make them feel left behind because I didn’t want to hang out. (Another thing I’ve repeatedly mentioned: I’m a loner.) But I can’t help but wonder . . . If a person does get hurt or feels left behind because I’d rather spend my time writing, reading, or eating, is that my fault or theirs? After all, aren’t we responsible for our own feelings?

People—most people (excluding any of the Kardashians)—are multifaceted. They have myriad layers, perspectives, opinions, ideas. Specifically, they don’t fit into a box, no matter how hard they’re forced into one.

It’s significant to remember, too, that when something is forced into a tight, narrow, suffocating space, the results are never good. In fact, destruction, breakage, and loss typically occur.

Filed Under: Advice, Lessons Tagged With: COVID-19, LGBTQ blog, LGBTQ writer, LGBTQ writing, Life lessons, relationships, The Male Carrie Bradshaw, Writer, Writing, Writing Community

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

sincerelycutter

View

Feb 27

Open
#NewBlogAlert — #LinkInBio 👨🏻‍💻📝
•
•
•
•
•
#TheMaleCarrieBradshaw #Blogging #Blogger #WritingCommunity

sincerelycutter

View

Feb 16

Open
#NewBlogAlert #LinkInBio 👨🏻‍💻
.
.
.
.
.
“There are numerous ways of getting attention online. And, because almost everyone has a social media presence, it can be extra difficult to stand out from the masses. Enter Twitter Dicks. Some people post bare ass pictures of themselves to get attention, while others share every single detail of their lives on Facebook and Instagram as if they’re some sort of celebrity updating their ‘fans’ on what’s new.”
.
.
.
.
.
#TheMaleCarrieBradshaw #blogger #bloggersofinstagram #writer #writingcommunity #writersofinstagram

sincerelycutter

View

Feb 15

Open
Apparently, these girls think they can do my job better than me. (They probably can!) 
🐶🐶👨🏻‍💻 
#amwriting #dogsofinstagram #MotivationalMonday

sincerelycutter

View

Feb 14

Open
🎶We could always play it safe—but that’s no fun . . . We could run.🎶
Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you! 
❤️😘🥰
Follow on Instagram

Cutter SlagleFollow

Cutter Slagle
sincerelycutterCutter Slagle@sincerelycutter·
March 1, 2021

Baby, it's ALL or nothing now! #MotivationalMonday

Reply on Twitter 1366420119472115712Retweet on Twitter 13664201194721157121Like on Twitter 13664201194721157122Twitter 1366420119472115712
sincerelycutterCutter Slagle@sincerelycutter·
February 28, 2021

"I did not say that faith was easy; merely that it was necessary."
— Kristin Hannah, Firefly Lane

Reply on Twitter 1366130349818867712Retweet on Twitter 1366130349818867712Like on Twitter 1366130349818867712Twitter 1366130349818867712
sincerelycutterCutter Slagle@sincerelycutter·
February 28, 2021

#NewBlogAlert: Déjà Fuck . . . Ever experienced it? https://cutterslagle.com/deja-fuck/ #WritingCommunity #Blogging #Blogger

Reply on Twitter 1366098093934927872Retweet on Twitter 1366098093934927872Like on Twitter 1366098093934927872Twitter 1366098093934927872
sincerelycutterCutter Slagle@sincerelycutter·
February 26, 2021

"It all depends on how we look at things." C.G. Jung

Reply on Twitter 1365366826645876737Retweet on Twitter 1365366826645876737Like on Twitter 13653668266458767371Twitter 1365366826645876737
sincerelycutterCutter Slagle@sincerelycutter·
February 25, 2021

I still ain't ready.

Reply on Twitter 1364967653597720582Retweet on Twitter 1364967653597720582Like on Twitter 1364967653597720582Twitter 1364967653597720582
Writer: Cutter Slagle

5 days ago

Writer: Cutter Slagle
"I did not say that faith was easy; merely that it was necessary." — Kristin Hannah, Firefly Lane ...
View on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Writer: Cutter Slagle

6 days ago

Writer: Cutter Slagle
To paint you a picture, I was at a dive bar that liked to keep its interior extremely dark. Maybe the electric bill was never paid, or perhaps the owners just didn’t want anyone to see what they might step in. One of life’s great mysteries that will never be solved.Anyway, cut to me feeling the rhythm of the night, the night, oh, yeah, as I did the gay lap/loop around the cave-esque establishment—you guessed it—searching. This particular search had led me outside to the enclosed patio section, where I promptly ordered a cheeseburger (yes, two cheeseburgers) and a bag of potato chips.#TheMaleCarrieBradshaw #Blog #Blogging #Blogger #NewBlogAlert #WritingCommunity ...

Déjà Fuck

cutterslagle.com

We've all experienced déjà vu before, right? But what about a déjà fuck? Yes, it's exactly what you think it is, and it can happen to the best of us. Okay, it can happen to the worst of us, too.
View on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Writer: Cutter Slagle

1 week ago

Writer: Cutter Slagle
"Trust in all the dreams you've made." —Kristin Hannah, Firefly Lane #WisdomWednesdayWhat are you currently reading? #BooksConnectUs ...

Photo

View on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Writer: Cutter Slagle

2 weeks ago

Writer: Cutter Slagle

Photo

View on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Writer: Cutter Slagle

2 weeks ago

Writer: Cutter Slagle
Look what I stumbled upon today at a little free library! #BooksConnectUs #AmReading #SundayFunday ...

Photo

View on Facebook
· Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email

Popular Posts

Sex Sells . . . Your Self-Respect

Putting The Cock In Cocky

What Are You Addicted To?

© Copyright 2019 Cutter Slagle · All Rights Reserved · Powered by WordPress · Admin

Copyright © 2021 · Simply Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in