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You are here: Home / Advice / Get Off Your Fucking Phone!

Get Off Your Fucking Phone!

August 15, 2020 By Cutter Slagle Leave a Comment

If I ever see Mark Zuckerberg in public, I’m going to walk right up to him and tell him to eat a dick. Maybe I’ll punch him in the face. Maybe I’ll just keep on walking. After all, jail is no place for a delicate flower like me. Still, I’ll at least give him the finger.

(For legal purposes, let me be clear: I’m not going to attack Fuckerberg—I mean, Zuckerberg. Small joke.)

Though, the same thought is present for the dimwit who created Twitter, Instagram . . . What the hell? Let’s throw in the founders of Snapchat, Tumblr, TikTok, Telegram, Grindr, porn sites, and any other app that causes individuals to have their noses permanently glued to their phones. Because, in an attempt to “bring people closer together with technology,” the opposite has occurred. We are further apart from one another, and that distance is lengthening every single day.

And I’m fucking sick of it!

I’ll go ahead and acknowledge the fact that some may think I’m a hypocrite for dedicating an entire blog article to bitching about phones and social media, when most people reading this content came to it via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, and are now using their phones to access it.

However, the rules don’t apply to me. Kidding, of course. I do believe that technology is grand if used appropriately and moderately. And, since this is my blog, I guess I get to determine the boundaries of appropriateness and moderation when it comes to phone/social media/technology usage.

For example, the Internet is a great tool to help boost your work, whether that work is a service you provide, a product you have to offer, or a piece of writing you want people to read. See what I did there?

The Internet does become a problem when it turns into an addiction, or an instrument used to do something “wrong.” What does that entail exactly? Myriad of things, including ordering your weight in Grubhub deliveries, feeding your gambling needs, racking up hours on social media sites, seeking attention from other people when you’re in a relationship, consistently checking Pornhub (or an equivalent), maxing out your credit cards on Amazon purchases, etc., etc. You get the idea. There are lots and lots of bad habits in this world, and these bad habits are easily fueled by the Internet.

Don’t get me wrong: There is a place in this world for phones and social media and technology—the Internet if you will. Yet, it must also be understood that these things can easily create an ugly, black hole for anyone of us at any given time to sink in. Once we’ve sunk, it’s next to impossible to find air or light.

After COVID-19 hit, I deleted all social media apps off of my phone. I’m not admitting that because I think I deserve a crown (just in case, though, I prefer silver over gold), but to recognize that it can be done. Not only has the experience been freeing, ridding me of some of my anxiety, but it’s also given me the invaluable gift of time. I have time to get shit done, to be more productive, to be present. But, most importantly, I have time to live in the moment and worry about what’s going on in my surroundings—not what’s happening online. Further, I’m able to respect those in my vicinity and give them my full, undivided attention.

On second thought, you’re right: I do deserve a crown.

One of the things I don’t understand the most about mindlessly scrolling through whichever app may currently be popular or a favorite, is what are people actually getting out of the experience? To be frank, nine times out of ten, they’re not exactly looking at quality content, right? It’s not as if they’re getting any substance or knowledge by searching, searching, searching. What the fuck are they searching for, anyway? A clue? Because that would be appropriate.

Is FOMO—Fear of Missing Out—to blame? Could that be the reason why so many individuals would rather lose a finger, a toe, an arm instead of a Wi-Fi signal? Girl, bye!

Newsflash: At the moment, no one is missing out on anything. Do you want to know what everyone has been up to for the past five months? Not a damn thing! You’re welcome.

Taking that idea one step further, though, perhaps being one with a smartphone has something to do with aimlessly searching for “the next best thing.” (Again, the “next best thing” doesn’t exist right now and, let’s be honest, did it ever?) Yet, in a world anchored by greed and lust and selfishness and a constant craving for attention, I can’t help by wonder . . . Are the masses more concerned with what they could have versus what they already do have? Is it seriously that hard to appreciate what’s right in front of you? And, if that’s the case, then are our phones and the Internet merely tools for self-destruction?

When someone racks up hours and hours of screen time (we all get that notification on Sunday morning detailing how much time we wasted on our phones the previous week, and some should be humiliated by the numbers), what do they have to show for it? Carpal tunnel, sure, but that’s about it.

Further, when we’re not alone but have company—whether it’s one person or one hundred people—being on the phone (in any manner) shows complete rudeness and disrespect. It’s basically saying loud and queer to those around us that they’re not interesting enough to warrant our full focus.

It’s also very sad, even depressing, that there are those who would rather be lost in the social media realm (or whatever app they’re addicted to) versus sharing a genuine, meaningful conversation or connection with another individual.

So, what’s the solution? Because, if there’s a problem, then there has to be a solution, doesn’t there?

Put down your fucking phone. Live in the moment, this moment, the moment right in front of you. Why worry or stress or even think about what’s going on in some space other than the one you’re in right now?

And before anyone protests, no, I’m not referring to ignoring legit news stories and real problems going on in the world. It goes without saying that we should always stay up to date on the important happenings of planet Earth, the happenings that can—and will—affect our future.

Yet, do you honestly need to know if Nancy got a new car? Or if Kevin posted a new speedo selfie? Or who successfully cooked a meal without burning it? (By the way, it wasn’t me!) Is it absolutely vital to fuel the narcissists of the Internet, the ones who have defined themselves with hashtags and the number of followers they’ve collected?

None of that nonsense matters! That’s what a lot of the Internet, social media, and apps are, too: nonsense! A big, fucking waste of time that’s preventing you from living and experiencing something that’s real and right in front of you.

Jeez, I miss the days where devices consisted of nothing by landlines, pagers, and computers with dial-up Internet. Well, maybe not that last one.

Like I said earlier, there is a time and a place for phones and social media and technology—the Internet—but familiarize yourself with that place and know the boundaries and limits. Everything in moderation.

Otherwise, you’re going to miss out on, well, everything.

Filed Under: Advice Tagged With: addiction, attention, COVID-19, Internet, LGBTQ writer, LGBTQ writing, Life lessons, relationships, smartphones, Social Media, technology, The Male Carrie Bradshaw, Writing Community

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Don't miss my February column in @ragemonthly — Out now! 
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"Hope is essential, but it’s not enough. To just simply hope will almost always end in disappointment, and probably pretty quickly. In order for hope to work—truly work—we’ve got to work, and the work isn’t always easy. On the contrary, it can be fucking hard. Hope can only take us so far, then it’s up to us and the work we’ve done to finish the job."

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For the past year and a half, I’ve told myself and others that I’m on a journey of self-reflection, with the sole goal of becoming the absolute best version of myself. Yet, when I look back at my previous blog articles and Rage (how fitting is that name?) columns, I’m not so sure this is the case. Instead, I fear that I may be trying to project my feelings, beliefs, and hell, possibly even my insecurities onto anyone who bothers to read the sentences I string together.

The result? A sad, jaded, angry, and yes, bitter perspective of life.

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My #October column in @ragemonthly is out now! 👨🏼‍💻 https://bit.ly/3dV59tn 
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“After all, times are tough! Charles Dickens had it right when he wrote, ‘It was the worst of times.’ He, too, must have been searching for gay love. (As for the other half of that quote, the one that addresses the ‘best of times,’ well, I don’t know her.)”
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Milestone: Don’t want to brag but today while writing I spelled the word “occasion” correctly for the first time.

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... I can take myself dancing, and I can hold my own hand.

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October 24, 2022

Take the moment and taste it
You've got no reason to be afraid
You're on your own, kid
Yeah, you can face this

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3 days ago

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Don't miss my February column in The Rage Monthly Magazine — Out now! #TheMaleCarrieBradshaw "Hope is essential, but it’s not enough. To just simply hope will almost always end in disappointment, and probably pretty quickly. In order for hope to work—truly work—we’ve got to work, and the work isn’t always easy. On the contrary, it can be fucking hard. Hope can only take us so far, then it’s up to us and the work we’ve done to finish the job." ... See MoreSee Less

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But I was realizing that everyone does go on. You get up. You have breakfast. You go to work. You do your job. You come home, have some dinner, go to bed. Just like everybody else. But it's always there. You go on, but you don't go on. Because there's this weight, and you can feel it all the time, like you've got a cinder block sitting on each shoulder, pushing you down, wearing you out, making you wonder whether you'll be able to get up the next day. And son of a bitch, you do get up. That day, and the day after, and the day after that. With those blocks on your shoulders. Always there. ... See MoreSee Less

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Oftentimes, it can be difficult to shake feelings of bitterness and anger. During these times, it's important to focus on what we can control and change.
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Take the moment and taste itYou've got no reason to be afraid You're on your own, kid Yeah, you can face this🎶🎶🎶 ... See MoreSee Less
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