Recently, I looked back at it . . . I mean, I looked back at my website and took inventory of my latest blog articles. From titles alone, I seem like a bitter, angry, scorned, shrill (enter your favorite adjective) bitch. And, despite what you may think you know about me, I don’t want to be any of those things.
Further, I don’t ever want to be thought of as cynical or negative. If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that life is precious. Not always easy, not always fun, but it beats the alternative. Therefore, we need to enjoy as much of it as we can. Instead of complaining about every foul ball this year has thrown at me, I want to be thankful that I’m still in the game.
Yes, that was a baseball metaphor. I used to be butch. Well, kind of. Okay, not at all. But trust and believe I know how to catch balls.
Now, based on the title of this blog article, you may be worrying that you’ve accidentally stumbled onto some sort of religious mumbo jumbo. I promise that nothing could be further from the truth. That’s not my gig. I don’t consider myself religious by any means, but faith can really be whatever we want it to be, right? It can look however we want it to look. Faith comes in myriad forms, but only if we’re completely open to it.
Let me pause for a second; I feel as if—again—I may be giving the wrong impression of myself. I think I’ve said this before, but I’m not one hundred percent sure. I used to be a bit of a party boy back in the day, so forgive my cobweb-stained brain. Though I don’t want to come off as a Negative Nancy, I’m also not one of those overly cheery, the world is burning to the ground but now we have a resource to roast marshmallows type of guys. I know that the sun isn’t always going to shine, that we can’t possibly dance in every single rainstorm.
However, I do believe that we can somewhat control how long that storm lasts, or how we ultimately let it affect our lives. Maybe we can even manifest the sun coming out to dry up that rain. Bear with me; I’m still learning the technique. I’m a red-hot mess of a work in progress.
The other day, I was chatting with a friend about the Law of Attraction. Basically, with our own thoughts, we have the power to bring either positive or negative experiences into our lives. And that makes sense, right?
If we consistently walk around believing that bad shit is going to happen to us, then it’s more likely that bad shit will happen to us. And vice versa. If we try and control our minds to think only positive thoughts, then we just may see more positive outcomes in our lives.
Look, I’m not saying that if you wake up every morning with this idea of winning the lottery, you’ll eventually win the lottery. Yet, isn’t it better—healthier—to focus our energy on the good possibilities instead of the bad ones? Why fret about everything that could go wrong, when we could be zeroed in on everything that could go right?
For example, rather than me wasting time, energy, and headspace on the notion that no one will ever publish my latest manuscript, why not consider the amazing book deal I will one day (hopefully in the near future) receive? New books are published every week; my book could be next. My book will be next.
Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and just enjoy the moment. Then, while enjoying that moment, imagine how many more wonderful moments are on the horizon. After all, thinking negatively and constantly worrying or stressing about all of the bad “what ifs” will only cause wrinkles. And who in the hell wants more wrinkles?
Obviously, none of this is new information. Though, if you’re anything like me, you need to hear or see something about eighty-seven times before it finally begins to stick.
As you all know by now, I’m a writer, which pretty much means I’m crazy. It also means that I can come up with just about any sort of scenario in my head. Unfortunately, sometimes I believe those false scenarios. See? Crazy!
There was a time when a stranger would wave to me on the street and I would immediately assume we were dating. This always led to some very strange breakups. Maybe I’m exaggerating; maybe I’m not. Still, you get the idea.
I need to work on coming up with good, positive, healthy scenarios in my head, not ugly ones. Regardless of what you want to call it: having faith, manifesting positivity, the Law of Attraction . . . It’s all the same thing. We get back what we put out.
Of course, during this conversation with my friend, I instantly thought of Carrie Bradshaw. In the series finale of Sex and the City, she delivers one of my favorite quotes:
“I’m someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”
She then immediately bumps into Mr. Big (in Paris), and the two get married and live happily ever after. Sort of.
Again, I’m not saying that constantly thinking positive thoughts is always easy or even a reality. It’s natural for us to consider the worst possible outcome so that if it happens, we are then prepared for it. No one wants to be blindsided. It’s a defense mechanism, but it’s also exhausting and dangerous.
Heartaches and hardships happen to everyone. They will continue to happen, too, no matter how well we control our thoughts. But, it’s a relief to know that there is still good in this world. Good things happen all of the time. Great things, even. Amazing things. Shouldn’t we try and center around those good, great, amazing things? Why live in the dark when it’s so much better to live in the light? We only get one shot at life, and we get to choose how we live it.
Finally, we are responsible for our own perceptions. So, ask yourself: How do you want to see your life?